Well hey! Guess what, I’ve decided to start blogging, and update at least every single day. Everyday? Yeah, that shouldn’t be too hard since I can just come up with whatever I want in a minute or so. This blog is for whatever I want to say.
It will be like my own personal diary! Uploaded publicly on the internet for all to see. I never understood the point of writing in a diary if it’s supposed to be private. I guess some people feel better about themselves when they write about their secrets. I don’t really have any secrets so it doesn’t matter.
SPEAKING OF SECRETS!
I have a few secrets I want to talk about. Get them off of my chest you know? Where to start where to start…
Let’s start with my day today. There’s this person who’s been sitting in front of me in math class. He’s a cool guy and all, but…he wears a top hat.
Now I love top hats and their fanciness, but it’s obscuring my view of the white board. Granted, I don’t pay attention during math class, but I’d like to have the option to pay attention, then choose not to. I don’t want to be forced not to pay attention. Because I won’t feel like a daring rebel anymore.
So with every passing day my distaste for top hats increases, but at the same time, what’s a gentlemen without his top hat? I admit to wearing one in class too, but really now, I was wearing a top hat before the guy sitting in front of me ever even considered wearing one! Mimicry is the highest form of flattery, but this dude in front of me in math class is just plain ugly.
All right I’m done with my secret: that I vaguely dislike top hats but I really like them. I’m glad I finally got that off of my conscious.
Of course, by confessing my secrets and sins on the internet via buh-log probably makes my (non-existing) audience think I’m joking. Which is my intent all along! My mind is clear now that I finally revealed my inner thoughts, but no one will think poorly of me because they’ll think I’m joking! And now that I revealed that I’m actually telling the truth and that I want people to think I’m joking, people will begin to doubt whether or not I’m really joking, telling the truth, or just messing with their minds.
I’ll progressively start posting more and more dark secrets, until the one day I’ll reveal that it was I that killed my father back during the Cold War! And even though I confessed the truth, everyone will too busy trying to figure out whether or not I’m joking to throw me in jail! A genius plan I say, genius!
Why would I even bother revealing such a fact? Well to be honest, I do feel really guilty about it. Telling someone else would make me feel better.
That, or I’m messing with you, even I don’t honestly know.