Let’s have a chat. Sit down, sit down please. There we go. Tea?
As you may or may not know already, Felswoon are seriously considering going to war against the East. Now, as-
Please stop fiddling with your fingers! It is distracting me. Thank you.
Now, as we are allied with Felswoon, they are expecting us to go to war with them. However, we absolutely cannot support a war, not in this state. Do you see what I’m driving at?
What do you mean no? How can you not know, we brought you all the way out here to-
What do you mean you’re retired! You’re not even forty!
Oh really? You are? Well, you’re not even fifty!
Anyway, yes we want to hire you. Convince the Felswoon to stay at peace, at least until we are able go to war. And if you cannot convince them with words…you may use…force if necessary.
What? I don’t see what’s wrong with that logic. Oh, stop complaining.
We have arranged for you, several tools you may find useful during your mission. Here we have five hover cars and a rocket.
Why yes, we can afford to throw away several hover cars while being unable to afford a war. Wars are costly after all! I mean, compared to a war, these cars are nothing.
Yeah well, I don’t care that hovercraft technology isn’t even made public yet. I assure you, it’s less expensive than a war. No, I will not cut down the budget just to provide food for the people lol.
Hey, you use internet acronyms too, don’t mock me. No, stop that, that’s my pen. Grrrr, oomph. Stop hitting me!
Oh wait, yeah it is your pen, sorry.
So! We’ve heard rumors that the Felswoon are building a weapon of mass destruction. We aren’t scared that they’re going to use it on us. But damn it, they’re not allowed to keep secrets from us, find out about this weapon and get the blueprints too. We like toys too.
Yes, we are sending you there based on rumors, what of it? Stop complaining. Besides, you also have to keep the peace too, remember?
What do you mean this whole mission makes no sense?! No we can’t just negotiate with them, they’re jerks. I mean their minister. He’s a jerk. And gross.
No, shut up, that’s a terrible plan. Whoever heard of peace treaties?
Hey wait, come back! Don’t walk out that door, it’s a trap, you can’t get out of here unless you do what I say or-
Damn it. Secretary? Yeah, gut us another one. And make him less smart. Also, did you record our conversation? I thought it was pretty funny. Shut up, I AM doing my job. Don’t tell me how to run secret missions.