Mathematic Love Letter

Hey babe, I want to find your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves. /wink

Hey hottie, I also want to find the integral of your curves so I can find your total volume. ;D Because it is an honest pursuit for the truth and mathematics.

Dang girl, your curves are not constant. Like, assume the center of your body is the location of the z-axis, going up down from your head to your feet. From a bird’s view from the top, your right arm pointing right would be the x-axis, and the direction you face would be the y-axis. Your curves would change depending on the angle with the z-axis, kind of like a polar graph.

Guuurrrl you ain’t easy to integrate. If your curves were a normal function rotated about the z-axis, I could find your total volume easy. Just take the integral from the ground to your height.

And that’s another thing, your volume is constantly changing. Stop breathing so much, it’s ruining my data. I also can’t decide whether or not to include your hair in my calculations. You know what you should do? Shave yourself bald.

You’re so complicated. I’ll never understand your emotions or the rate at which you’re growing! Just more complications! omg seriously stop walking it makes it harder to find a function for your curves.

You break my heart girl. I’m going to fail this math project because of you. It’s all your fault!

Wow you’ve gained hella weight. I have to start all over, thanks a lot fatty! Whoah whoah whoah stop puking. Grrr now I have to start all over again! You remind me of the D I got on my last math test because I couldn’t figure out the work required to pump the water out of the tank. Except now I can’t figure out the work required to pump the fat out of your body.

Wow, you’ve lost hella weight since I last saw you, now you’re just trolling me. I’ll take your measurements again, jeez fine. wtf did you just grow two inches overnight?!

You know what, that’s it. We’re over. Find someone else to solve your differential equations.


Feel free to reply. But I won't read cuz I'm shy. Unless it's haiku.

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