What I Learned Today

Today, I learned something.

Today, I also forgot something. But I can’t remember.

I do remember a tall, beanstalk sprouted up in front of my house. It reminded me of Jack and the Beanstalk, where I learned that stealing was good.

But this beanstalk just taught me that eventually, huge plants fall over and crush houses. I also learned it sucked to be homeless.

The accountants. Today they were furiously typing away on their computers, computing numbers. Which, I guess they did everyday. But today they did it in the air. Tens of desks hung by strings fluttered in the air. The string reached from one tall sky scraper, to another on the other side of the street. The accountants hung onto their desks for dear life, flapping in the fierce, east coast wind, while still trying to fulfill their jobs. Cars, taxis, and other traffic honked their horns in below. Maybe at the accountants, maybe at the traffic, maybe at their anger to the sea gods.

One accountant fell. I learned the value of human life today.

The accountant survived. I learned that one must always wear a parachute underpants. You’ll never know when it would save your life.

I tried to get a job to fix my broken house. But I learned the sea gods were relentless. Tsunamis hit the coast over and over again. I’m glad I don’t live near the ocean. But I’m not glad the sea gods can move oceans into the sky. I’ve never seen so much rain before.

I learned earthworms don’t like rain. I always thought they did, since they always came out when it rain. But I talked to one, and it divulged the earthworm secret to me. Their earthworm overlord decreed war against the sea gods. I told them it was a losing battle.

I learned that one should never give up. That’s what the earthworm told me in reply. When it spoke, it seemed as though it were shaking its head. But I know earthworms don’t have heads.

It gave an inspirational speech about motivation, and hard work. It touched me, and I vowed to never give up. A seagull flew by, ate the worm, and flew away. I saluted my departed comrade.

OH! Now I remember what I forgot!

My doctor told me to stay home today after I took the medication. Oh well, too late.

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