Nefarious Nickelmancer

Into the quaint little village and down from the sky hailed the Nickelmancer. Stroking his nickel coloured beard with one hand, he threw nickels at the poor citizens of the village. The villagers winced in pain as the small bits of nickel pelted their bodies. Then, their pain-stricken faces lit up as they realized what hit them: five cents.

The villagers threw themselves unto the ground, struggling for every nickel like chickens fighting over seeds. But alas! Their efforts were in vain. For inflation rates in the village were so high, that a nickel amounted to almost nothing. It would take twenty thousand nickels just to buy a loaf of bread.

The Nickelmancer cackled at his horrifying actions. Oh, how he loved to see the peasants struggle under a poor monetary system!

“Stop!” a heroic voice called out. The Earth rumbled and cracked open. The Dimemancer climbed out, ready to do battle with his nemsis.

“You think you can stop me?!” the Nickelmancer cried. He thrust out his hand, and a constant stream of nickels burst towards the Dimemancer. The Dimemancer retaliated against every nickel with his own dime. The coins collided and rattled in midair, making high pitched clinks, until they fell onto the ground spinning. None of the coins touched either Coinmancer.

The Dimemancer struck a battle pose, and summoned forth a gigantic dime, the size of a small cottage. He hurled the dime like a giant frisbee at his nemesis. But before his attack struck true, the giant dime fell to the ground, crushed under the Nickelmancer’s own giant, summoned nickel. For while the dime is twice as valuable the nickel, the nickel is larger.

The Nickelmancer cackled. Again. Just to gloat. He knew the Dimemancer’s strength was no match for his.

The Dimemancer saw his chance. While the Nickelmancer bathed in his own glory, the Dimemancer turned to the villagers and told them, “People! The metal used to make a nickel is worth more than five cents!”

The Nickelmancer’s eyes opened in horror as hordes of villagers rushed at him with torches.


Feel free to reply. But I won't read cuz I'm shy. Unless it's haiku.

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