Today we will be looking at the unique species called gollahoo. Extraordinary beings they are. They’re brown, furry fellows, quite small and round. They live on the coast near river banks, and that’s where we’re going.

So here we are at some unnamed river. And there’s one now! A gollahoo, all by itself rolling on the river bank. Yes, its primary way of movement is rolling. It has eight legs, four on the bottom, four on the top, all evenly spaced out. Although to be quite honest it doesn’t really have a “top” or “bottom.” The legs are tiny things, but provide enough force to propel the gollahoo forwards. Its thick fur protects the spherical from wayward objects as it travels from place to place.

The gollahoo is rolling towards the river now, and…what is it doing? OH MY GOD. IT’S DRINKING WATER! Goodness! I’ve never seen anything like it, water! It drinks freshwater! I don’t believe there’s anything quite as unique as this. It has a small beak that protrudes when it’s not rolling to eat. And it can apparently, drink. Wow, I’ve seen everything now. Do you see it? Dang.

The gollahoo is now floating in the water, camouflaged as some…brown sphere. Very discreet. The gollahoo can naturally float in water, as it has many air bladders for buoyancy. They eat small fish and other water creatures that float near its mouth. Very passive. An interesting property of its beak is that it can extend up to five times in length.

This gollahoo isn’t doing anything interesting right now, just floating, so we’ll move on.

Right here we have a family of gollahoos, living in their den. They usually live in shallow holes dug near the base of a tree, and are often littered with wooden shrines dedicated to their gods. The topic of gollahoo religion, however, is a different one.

There’s the father and mother, and their five small offspring. Awww lookit them they’re so tiny, around one fourth the size of their parents. The father and mother usually attempts to fight to the death after their children’s birth to see who is the rightful parent, but since they just roll at each other somewhat fast, fights usually end in draws. If this is the case, the parents sign a non-aggression pact and raise the children together, splitting the profits in half.

Baby gollahoos are picky eaters and will only eat the highest quality of fish meat from five star rivers. This leads to a great deal of stress to the parents and it is not uncommon for one of the parents to die while hunting for brand-name fish. By freshwater river sharks.

Usually when there’s only one parent, the parent tends to feel very angry and will instead beat and force their offspring to eat commercial fish.

After a month, baby gollahoos will transform into a white lizard and grow wings that are purely cosmetic through metamorphosis. They are most vulnerable at this stage because predators can spot them three miles away. White gollahoo’s also tend to be noisy and stink a great deal, so most gollahoos tend to die at this stage. Within a few weeks, they will shed their scales and return to their brown spherical shape. Why the gollahoos do this, scientist are still unsure as it is highly detrimental to their survival.

And here’s one now! A white lizard, easily distinguishable as a gollahoo because of its wings. And there it goes! Off, taken by an owl. Such is the nature of life, painful but beautiful. Oh hey look, it’s a unicorn owl, with a majestic horn on its head and poops rainbows.

After maturity, gollahoo are seeking mates. Sex is easily distinguishable now, since mature female gollahoo’s enjoy wearing the hides of their deceased parents to honor their deaths, while males enjoy wearing hats.



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